 | The Saddest Thing I OwnA collection of life's saddest objects, their sad stories, and our reasons for holding onto these sad things. |
My Emerald Rock
Posted On Wednesday March 19, 2008 By Mabel
This is my rock. My husband was on active duty with the National Guard for six months. He was stationed in Colombia, South America for six months. I was really lonely those six months but I was okay because I knew he loved me. I heard from him everyday he was gone through either email or phone. He always acted like things were fine.
When he got home, he acted different. He said he was having trouble getting settled. He didn’t know what was wrong.
After three months I found out what was wrong. He found a girlfriend down there. I found a hotmail account and read all of the emails he sent her. It broke my heart. It has been two months since I found out, and I still feel like my guts are being kicked, and it takes my breath away just thinking about it. He says he can tell her things he can’t tell me. Most of the emails are about sex talk, or eventually being together. Of course, those are things he can’t tell me about. I haven’t told him I know, because I feel it will only rush the inevitable. I thought about suicide, but started crying when I realized I would be buried alone, without him by my side.
I have lost 10 pounds in the last month, and have to will myself to eat at all. I cry every day. He actually bought me emerald earrings to go with my necklace he brought me back. How could he be so insensitive to get this for a gift. Like once this was ran its course, I am going to want to wear the stupid necklace.
I have seem a lawyer to get advice. The worst part is that I think he does eventually plan on leaving, and does really love her, but he doesn’t want to world to view him for what he is.
Currently they are not emailing because he doesn’t know it but I have emails from her blocked in his hotmail account. He thinks she got tired of waiting, but still sends her emails once in awhile.
How can I go on, I love him still, I think he loves me like a relative. If he does come back emotionally to me, could I ever trust him again?
My Best Friend
Posted On Monday January 28, 2008 By Aimee
I don’t really “own” the saddest thing I think affects me the most. My best friend. In my eyes she is the strongest and most beautiful person- both inside and out – that i know. My best friend is my other half , and without her here, the world really does some bleaker, empty and full of a million, hurrying people who all seem like aliens. We both have plenty of other friends, but still nobody compares to her, nobody listens and understands like she does. Its not that we tell each other every single tiny details of our lives, its the fact we have a deeper, emotional almost soul-to-soul connection that binds us together no matter where we choose to go in life.
But my best friend suffers from depression. She’s had a tough childhood, and to this day the wounds have not healed to scars, but are still fresh, raw, stinging and open. My best friend had days where she doesn’t want to get out of bed, won’t eat or smile for days and become a total, unreachable,inconsolable stranger to me. When i look at her at times like this, she becomes a totally different person who i fail to recognize. Its at times like this where i wish i could to something i know is impossible – take her burdens and deal with them for her, just so she doesn’t ever have to fall through the bottomless put of sadness again. Times like this, i become scared to call her, or pop over to her house for fear that i may find her dead, hanging from the ceiling, or in some empty alley way somewhere trying to run and hide from her problems, but to no avail.
I make sure i tell my best friend every day how much i love her and how i wish she could see herself through my eyes so she can understand what an amazing individual she is, and how much she touches the lives of people around her with her sweet personality. Another part of me wants to hunt down and hurt the people who have destroyed her in the past, although i know we all endure hardships is our lives.
My best friend has tried to push me away on many occasions, claiming im way too “good for her”, but i stand there with my feet firmly rooted to the ground and i shall not budge till the day i die. I’m proud to call her MY BEST FRIEND, and not a day goes by where I don’t think how lucky I am that I’m the one who was chosen to be there with her.
I Love You. Share Your Thoughts [6]Grandpa Teddy
Posted On Monday January 28, 2008 By Anmol Ghavri
Christmas 2004 my grandpa gave me a cute little teddy bear. I loved it. December 8th 2005 my grandpa died. Sometimes I see him in the hallways. His old room door opens by itself sometimes. It him I see him. His teddy seems alive. It seems to talk if I am sad. When we dumped my gradpas ashes in a pond to do what he wanted I swear I saw his face in the water.
Share Your Thoughts [1]The Saddest Thing I Own is a 2005 commission of New Radio and Performing Arts, Inc., (aka Ether-Ore) for its Turbulence web site. It is supported by the Jerome Foundation in celebration of the Jerome Hill Centennial and in recognition of the valuable contributions of artists to society.
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